What is it you want? Is it something I can give you? Is either question even relevant? I read yesterday that some Nascar driver died at 41, an illness equally sudden and effective… Like a tsunami. I am two years younger than my grandfather when he died…suddenly. I am not supposed to be contemplating the mysteries of life, though, I’m supposed to be reinforcing a brand: I write books. There’s one of sale. Here’s the link. This is America, everyone likes a winner, do you enjoy

We are the same creatures as five hundred years ago. The clothes are different, how we get from place to place has changed, but we are the same animals. The pace of life has accelerated: It started with automobiles and then computers and now with A.I. The amount of content available to us has gone from a teaspoon to a tsunami— But we are the same creatures we were when the Pilgrims landed in the New World. Or, for that matter, when the Roman Empire faded into the past. How ar

Every day, I contemplate quitting my job and my apartment. I’d sell my car, buy a van for a few thousand less, and just…travel. I think about it every day. And every day I talk myself down—remind myself how it ends: out of money by late summer, back to another job, another lease, another reset. Maybe worse than this one. I know the downside. That’s the problem. It’s not a fantasy—I’ve already stepped outside once. Six years ago, I removed myself from this modern world and saw

Every morning I get up and work on the second memoir. Even work days; the moment I am semi coherent I’m editing. Part of me is proud of my diligence, part of me wonders if it’s wasted effort— What’s the point in turning out the second memoir when you’re not promoting the first one? I should be marketing, making connections, winning people over…I understand that. So, I feel accomplished and a failure at the same time. I’m sure many of you writers out there understand. Perhaps

I have moved many times in my life. The process appeals to my systematic mind: Acquiring boxes and tape. Plotting out what to pack when. Mentally determining how to arrange the boxes in the van. The process appeals to my mind, the execution is what I could do without. Three more moves, that is the goal: From my new place to the interim place. From the interim place into storage. And, finally, from storage to the last place I will live. That is the goal, at least. When my ti

I write books as well as songs. I play the word processor, I play the guitar. I’ve been doing what I call “art shit” since I was a teenager— (This story will be told in the second memoir, which comes out in late June). Cleaning out an external drive, I came upon songs I recorded when I was 19. What I lacked in skill, I made up for in pretentiousness: I took myself far too seriously back then. Honestly, I cringed as I listened to those old recordings. I was an insecure child p

The Hill I grew up around sociopaths and low rent conmen. I grew up around wealthy people in the third richest county in the United States. The house I lived in recently sold for two million dollars. If you saw it you’d think I grew up with money and privilege. No, we had old cars, normal clothes, struggled to pay bills. The house on the Hill was an illusion. My father lived in Sausalito on a houseboat. His neighbors were genuinely wealthy, had nice cars and clothes— They we

I had car keys for the first time in my life. I kept taking them out of my pocket, jingling them in my hand, running my fingers over the metal. The ignition key had six sharp points. I knew it by touch already. I wasn’t trapped at my grandmother's, wasn’t marooned as I had been in high school. The house I grew up in was three miles from the nearest bus stop. You needed a car to get to a job and a job to get a car. For four years I’d been stuck inside that loop. Not anymore. I

Time, Memory, and the Long Consequences of Living…. I’ve had people explain to me how allowing Jesus Christ into their lives opened the world up for them. Other friends have attempted to elucidate how becoming parents caused them to look at the world in a completely different way. I have had neither experience, but still I understood. I’ve explained how the art stuff I do makes me aware of a connection to something much larger than myself— This is not about that; that is a c

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