Wants Versus Desires

A couple of weeks ago my father asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said a sleeping bag; that was, literally, the only thing I wanted. If you asked me today what I want I’d say nothing. I have everything I want. Maybe not everything I desire, but everything I want. I desire more guitars, books, and clothes, an old Volvo station wagon, but those are fantasies. That’s what a desire is, a fantasy, a daydream. A want, on the other hand, is something you actually need. My car got broken into and they stole my sleeping bag so I wanted another one. I got a sleeping bag so now I want for nothing.

I feel very fortunate that I understand the difference between wants and desires. I want to get my Telecaster set up (think the tune up on a car), I want to get a couple of jackets repaired, but I don’t want more guitars or new clothes (aside from a nice sport jacket, I’ll get one when the time is right). I have everything I need be it clothing, kitchen stuff, or furniture. If I ever find a “rest of my life place,” I will build or have built The Bookcase. I’ve had it in my head for close to thirty years: Made of old ass wood like barn siding, I’ll keep a bunch of rocks and all my books on it. I can see it in my head. I am totally happy with my futon mattress on the floor but as I get older a bedframe might be more comfortable. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have many desires but very few wants. I have credit cards, I could buy whatever I want, but it’d just be more debt and crap to move when the time comes.

My apartment is only 325 square feet, maybe the size of your living room. It feels spacious to me. Part of it is because I used to live out of a minivan, but part is  that I don’t have a lot of stuff. Everything I have is either being used or fits with my future plans (I still have a lot of camping and music equipment). It’s fashionable to call yourself a minimalist, but in the end it’s just another meaningless label. Thirteen years ago I realized I need very little to be happy. I was here in Portland living in a rented room. I had a sleeping bag, a few used books, and some art supplies and I was good. That was an incredible feeling, liberating. Desiring many things, but wanting few...