Solitude

Do you enjoy being alone? Do you enjoy it, or are you simply comfortable with it---being on your own, away from other people? After a year and a half of living out of a van I have been intimate with solitude, been able to embrace it, fall into it deeper than I ever had before. This is what I learned.

The first year in the van I was usually alone, out in the middle of a forest or the desert. Either I was camped in the middle of nowhere or driving alone from one camp to another. I dealt with solitude well; away from people and the industry of towns I could sort through my thoughts, hear myself think. It was delightful just to wander through a wood or the open desert and be surrounded by nature but I came to understand that solitude has a cost, the ability to interact with others, the downside of being stuck in a loop of your own thoughts, your own perceptions. I came to understand that and did something I said I wouldn’t do: Get a regular job in a city and rent a room in that same city. Who knows, in six months I may switch back and live out of the van again.

The life I intend to lead hasn’t changed: A rural life with like minded people on a piece of land. Having a cabin and the means to keep the lights on that allows for traveling whenever I want; I don’t have the ability to make that happen just yet so I am retreating to a so-called normal existence---rented place, forty hour a week job in a fractured mall. For now.

For years I struggled with ignoring my desire to travel and be on the road. That struggle is covered in my book The American Outback (Volume One). My wife wanted security, loved the city we lived in, so I tried, for years, to just suck it up and live in that city and stay with my job. It’s a common situation, that longing to just get away from cities and stress, breaking away to nature. Solitude. I know it’s a common situation otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered finishing the first American Outback book.

We are social animals, we need interaction with other people to be healthy. Conversely, I think it’s also a necessity to be on our own sometimes; either in nature or just locking ourselves in a room to meditate. I am guilty---and maybe you are, as well---of spending too much time on this laptop, on-line, just getting sucked in. That isn’t solitude, that is just a different variety of over stimulation. Sometimes you just have to hide your phone, close the laptop, and be genuinely and truly alone….