Branding
- Izaak David Diggs
- Jan 20, 2020
- 3 min read
The day after I graduated from high school I left the castle. My aunt and uncle had agreed to give me a ride to my grandmother’s house, tolerating two hours of my cousins and I winding each other up. Mum lived in Carmichael, an older suburb in the middle of Sacramento, California. It was a nowhere sort of place with majestic oak trees shading faded malls and non-descript houses. To me, though--an eighteen year old who had been stuck in the middle of nowhere--it was the promised land; a real town where I could get a job and eventually buy a car and dive into adulthood.
It was all new; I was excited but a little overwhelmed.
I feel the same way starting this journey to market my upcoming book What Peace Means to Us. I feel optimistic that I can get loads of people to read a story I believe in, but--oy vey--there is so much to learn and do.
I am still getting the hang of Twitter, all the unspoken rules and social cues, using hash tags etc.
Facebook I am a bit more comfortable with.
Branding? I think I got it: Wear black, don’t smile too much, if you open your mouth--(or put your hands on the keys)--try not to be an idiot.
I moved into one of Mum’s extra rooms. She was in her mid-sixties then and stuck for the fourth time with an unruly teenager. My grandmother was old-fashioned but she also enjoyed a good fart joke. Mum found a porno magazine stashed in my room at one point. Her response?
“The articles are trash but the pictures are art.”
God, I miss her.
Okay, I had taken care of finding a place to live. Next I had to find work and then maybe some friends. My first job was at Jack in the Box wearing quite possibly the most hideous uniform ever forced on someone in the service industry. I made minimum wage but I was fine with that--
Two goals were out of the way; before I knew it I would be successfully doing that Adult Thing.
I have completed a few things required to brand myself: New photos. Website. Social Media. Is that it?
No, really, is that it? Some videos say just be yourself. Okay, that sounds doable, a version of me with all the dodgy and boring bits left out.
It feels like something is missing, though; being new to this I have no idea what that may be. Do I need an Instagram? Do all my blog entries really need to be 1600-1800 words in length? How do I make it SEO this week?
I met some customers I jibed with at Jack in the Box. We got on and they didn’t mock my hideous uniform that much. They invited me to a party. I tried to act cool but inside I was giddy: A party! Friends! One step closer to being an adult and not a weird outcast living in the middle of nowhere.
I go to the party. I drink a couple of beers and a wine cooler before people start showing up. Key fact: This is before I drank on a regular basis...and I weighed about 110 pounds.
I was a frail newbie about to learn a hard lesson--
As hard as the alcohol in the mixed drinks I started knocking back.
I lurched around. There were awkward attempts to break dance to cheesy German hair metal. I overheard a cute girl sigh “But he seemed so intelligent earlier.”
And then I went off to puke on an expensive throw rug.
And then I passed out in a bathroom barring the door.
As you probably have guessed, I didn’t complete the third step on the road to adulthood that night.
So--metaphorically speaking--the goal is not vomit on strangers’ rugs as I market myself. No, I will succeed in this step.
I will not break Twitter rules or make (too many) bad jokes on this blog.
I will make mistakes, I know this, but when I do I will learn from them just as I learned from that night three weeks before my nineteenth birthday.
I could have had friends but instead I got two days of alcohol poisoning.
Mum picked me up out front; that was one quiet, awkward ride home. My grandmother did not approve and I don’t blame her.
In 113 days I will be releasing What Peace Means to Us. I have a lot to do, a lot to learn but I know I can do it.
Thanks for coming along on this hopefully unawkward ride,
Izaak
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