Choices

The Dickens quote everyone uses is "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." It is overused because it is perfect: Balance. Yin and Yang. Trade offs. We want a job with less stress so we accept less money; that path leads to more freedom but less security...(whatever security means in 2025). I just turned 58 and live in a 325 square foot apartment. I don't have a pension or any sort of retirement---

But I have what I really want, three days in a row off to work on writing and music.

I'm resourceful enough I could land a job that pays $100k a year, but it would take away from the things that don't just matter to be but are my calling.

Choices. We all make them, the key is accepting the consequences.

Accepting the consequences can be hard---

I miss being on the road every day. I miss the desert like I miss everyone I have loved and lost.

No joke, I watched two movies set in the desert on my days off and started crying,

It was kinda funny, it was kinda pathetic.

But, my parents are around 80 so I am trying to live in between them so I can visit/in case they need me---

This is a choice I made, I'm sure you've made or are making hard choices yourself.

I could trade my car for a minivan and just start traveling again---

But I have a decent job and it would be stupid to just blow that off because after a few months---at most---I'd have to find another job---

In this crazy, unpredictable world we find ourselves in.

Choices.

I will, most likely, be alone the rest of my life. Partly because my broke geriatric ass is not exactly "marketable," part is an understanding I came to after two failed marriages:

I can either choose giving myself to art shit and doing better and better work....

Or I can make someone happy.

It's not as cold as that; I do not want to make anyone else feel neglected---

I also know that I would grow to resent someone if I was forced to choose them over writing and music projects.

Choices, we all make them.

I could get a better job. I could see what is "selling" on the dating market and groom myself for a prospective girlfriend...

But I could only keep the farce up for a short time before two people were pissed off and disappointed.

Choices.

Maybe I'll meet someone with their own obsession, be it an art form or a career...maybe.

I ain't crossing my fingers, but I keep an open mind.

This is where I let you know that I will be releasing a book in the near future. The Bad Kids about when I was a weed smoking vandal with my middle school hooligan friends. I am shooting for around New Years. I am currently overhauling the follow up which will be about my twenties when I met the loves of my life and lost them. That one will be out...mid year? Depends on how long it takes to finish it, design the cover, blah blah blah.

If you're feeling impatient, you can check out my books on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Izaak-Diggs/author/B00EG7OKUY?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=f2ea66b6-32c9-485e-9449-30fdf4a2c117

Thanks again for being here, IDD